Close your eyes and imagine a big green and brown tree full of bright green leaves and crispy brown bark. Now imagine a bright cherry red wagon with big black wheels on it under that tree. Put a tiny elephant in the wagon with a ball. What is the elephant doing? What colour is the ball?
If you were able to imagine that whole scene, could you draw it? That was your first lesson in listening. If you talked about this same scene to several children or adults, you would find very different drawings for each person. We all listen and imagine what we have seen differently.
Next time someone is speaking to you, try to completely listen and every time an opinion or suggestion pops into your head, gently push it aside. Then either repeat what the person said to understand or nod or acknowledge in some way that you are listening. Can you sit and listen to them completely without adding anything if they don’t ask you? It can be a very challenging task.
Some of the biggest keys to being a good listener is that your whole body is involved in listening. You can show a person that you truly care through non-verbal actions. Face the person who is speaking, have your eyes actively watching what the person is saying, and your head may even nod in acknowledgment of what is being said. Furthermore, you can actually show a person your heart cares through your eye contact. When you are able to do this, the person speaking will feel like the most important person in the world at the moment. That my friends, is what everyone wants to feel.
According to Jack C. Richards, author of Teaching Listening and Speaking From Theory to Practice, “Listening as comprehension is the traditional way of thinking about the nature of listening.” (Richards, 2008) You cannot fake your listening skills. The traditional game of telephone, is an example of this. If you have a group of people in a circle and you have the first person start a story by whispering in the ear of the person next to them. Then that person adds to the story by sharing in the persons ear, next to them. This goes around the circle until the last person receives the whole story and then they tell the story. Rarely does this story have all of the details correct. Part of this not only has to do with memory, but it also has to do with listening skills. If we aren’t actively listening as we might be distracted, or not invested in the activity, we probably are not listening to the best of our abilities.
I challenge you to become better at listening. When people say to you, “You’re not tough enough as you don’t speak your mind!” Or “Why didn’t you react to them when they did that to you?” Say, “I’m a listener not a speaker and this is okay.” We all have our strengths and gifts in life. Care about people and what they have to say. Furthermore, do not always speak out, try to actively listen to what is being said. This in time will become your super power!
Take time to really learn the art of listening as it is a learned skill. There are so many games on the internet that you can play to improve your listening skills. The most important thing you can learn though, is to be the light in the world and truly care about all living beings. You can do this by becoming an active listener.
Reference
Richards, C. Jack. 2008. Teaching Listening and Speaking From Theory to Practice. Cambridge University Press, New York